I'm so scared.

Every time I think about having a 1 year old and a newborn, I get so scared.
I don't know how I'm gonna be able to do it. What if I am taking away from Dylan?

I already feel like I'm taking so much away from him. I'm always tired and nauseous so I never want to play with him. I don't know how I'm gonna manage to chase him around with a huge belly. And I don't know how I'm gonna keep our bond when I'm having to care for a newborn. Newborns are very needy. How am I gonna find time to meet both of my babies needs?

I'm get so scared when I think about it.

The remarkable thing though, is that when Dylan smiles at me, I just feel reminded of why everything will work out for the best.

A part of me wishes I wasn't in this situation. But the other part of me feels blessed to have two little miracles. Some people try for years to just have one baby, and now in the time frame of just one year, I managed to give birth to one little miracle and conceive another.

I'm so thankful to have all the support I do with keeping this child. And I'm even more thankful to have made the decision I did to keep this child.

I remember finding out I was pregnant, I felt so weak. I called my mom and cried to her. "Mom, I'm not strong enough to do this. I'm not strong enough to follow through with any of the options". I'm so happy she helped me find that strength. I don't know where I would be without my mom.